1. Be Selfish
It is not wrong to look out for yourself and put yourself first because your happiness is your own and matters only to you. Your happiness does not mean much to your friends, lovers or family if you're not putting in the effort to achieve it. Being selfish helps you to have self satisfaction and love yourself more so that you do not have to seek love and approval from other people. Insecurities often spring out of lack of self-love in that you seek praise and approval from other people. Eventually you start to have dependent relationships with people around you. You shouldn't have to hear that you're beautiful from someone else because if you believe it yourself then you'll find satisfaction in that and you'll realize that you deserve the happiness you want.
2. Jealousy is futile and an utter waste if time
Why would you spend your time studying someone else and comparing yourself to them when you could be working to improve yourself instead? Incase you didn't realize, jealousy is also a product of insecurities. If you were satisfied with yourself in the first place then you would not be jealous of other girls. Jealousy may lead you to miss out on making an awesome friend or role model. Instead of coveting what others have, you should seek to learn from them instead and improve yourself so that you're not forced to copy someone else but be your own unique self. We should always learn to be appreciative of what we have and what we can achieve from learning from others.
3.Learn to take responsibility
We learn from physics that for every action, there is a reaction. This applies to what I call the Law of Responsibility. There is always consequences for your actions for example, when you work hard at anything, you are bound to be successful, when you commit a crime, you're bound to pay for it, when you ignore your health, you are bound to get sick. These are just some examples but what if we could be responsible in the first place, then we wouldn't be miserable, constantly worrying or having a hard time. Responsible people are known to be mature therefore trust-worthy. If you go looking for a job and you're not responsible, no one would want to hire you because you would probably cause a company to make more losses than profits. Whenever you make a decision, remember to think about what results might occur from it. Will they be desirable or straight up horrible?
4.Dare to dream
I always try to keep a "You deserve what you want." kind of mindset because I want to have to have the things I dream of. No one's going to chase your dreams for you because they too have their own dreams and are probably going after them. So why not gain a little confidence and go after what you want? If you seeking for that A+, work for it, that boy you've been stalking, go ahead and say hi. it doesn't hurt to try. if you want to start a business, do some research and make it a success. We are honestly nothing without our dreams because they give us the drive to keep going on in life. Please don't give up on your dreams cause they are just as precious as you are.
5. Learn a skill
I think life would be boring if we were not constantly working to improve ourselves. Skills can be both productive for money making and fun for a hobby. Personally, I learnt crocheting from my mom and our house help when I was 11 years old. It was so fun learning that I used to go to school with thread and a make-shift hook to practice even during classes. Am still learning new things up to now but am glad it is a skill I possess because I get to make hand-made gifts for my friends and sisters. It is immensely satisfying to learn a new skill because you can make new friends that way, create a business centered around it and even get rid of boredom.
6. Trust your instincts
Now am not saying you could be on your way to unlocking your psychic abilities but trusting your instincts is ultimately a road to something known as a woman's intuition. If you sense that something is off, then something is definitely off. In 2022, my dad was involved in a car accident and I remember getting a call from an unknown number so early in the morning and at that moment I knew that something was definitely wrong. My dad's voice on the other end of the line confirmed my suspicion. Thank God he's all healed up and fine now. However, from that experience, I have learned to trust my instincts even more. I have read that mothers and pregnant women have heightened senses and their instincts are always right. Fortunately, you do not have to get pregnant to have instincts cause you already posses them and you just need to trust and listen a little bit more. If ever you suspect that your boyfriend is cheating, be sure to chase that suspicion and do not be surprised if you find out that you're right.
7. Good Hygiene is Non-Negotiable
Naturally and from observation, girls have been known to have OCD and boys are known to just be disorganized. I went to a mixed boarding primary school and I can confirm that is is mostly true. Taking care of your self in terms of hygiene and cleanliness should not really be a challenge because it is something that leads to piece of mind once achieved. It also ensures a healthy lifestyle cause a clean space is free from disease carrying germs. Here is a list of things to do to ensure good hygiene.
> Take a shower.
Showering is an essential part of life and honestly it is something that should not be ignored because from biology we learn that our bodies are always excreting waste through the skin usually in form of sweat. Eventually this sweat attracts dust from the air that attaches to your body. This is precisely why it is necessary to shower at least once a day, preferably twice a day and at most thrice a day. Too much of the activity of course is harmful to your body because you risk dryness of the skin and that is an undesirable result. You cannot deny that it feels so damn good and refreshing to take a shower especially after a long day. When I was in boarding school, I dreaded showering because there was only one temperature for a shower, ice-cold water. Well of course that is an exaggeration but honestly we had to take cold showers every morning and evening and I seriously hated it. I was asthmatic at the time so it was torture to me. Nevertheless I still fought through it and showered everyday. I have not had a cold shower since I finished boarding school. Even on a blazing hot day, a hot shower is the only way to go.
> Brush your teeth.
Always brush your teeth in the morning and at night before going to sleep. Remember to floss every now and then.
I always used to hear, "Brush your teeth after every meal or after eating anything sweet." but am quite lazy so I can't be brushing my teeth after every meal. I eventually decided to brush my teeth twice a day and use mouth after eating something sweet on top 2 annual check ups with a dentist. I mean that has to be good enough, right. Well it's something I like to believe.
> Wash your hair.
Whether you've got straight hair, curly hair or dreadlocks, it is essential to wash your hair at least once a week to get rid of dandruff, oils and product buildup. Straight hair girls are lucky cause they get to have the ability to wash their hair daily but it is a different story for curly hair girls. They don't get to have the luxury to wash their hair every day because it takes a considerable time to dry and a lot of product is usually used. The kind of product that shouldn't be washed out after a day. Therefore, a wash day routine is the only way to go and the same applies to girls with locs. A hair wash can be ultimately therapeutic especially after an oil message on a clean scalp. Try it and let me know what you think in the comments.
> Adopt a skincare routine.
There's lots of skincare routines on the internet. You only have to search for one that suits you and is favorable for your skin. I personally have a simple skincare routine that involves exfoliation with a wash cloth, an aloe Vera mask and a honey and turmeric mask, every other day. I don't know if anyone else experiences this but sometimes my skin looks rough but feels so soft and sometimes my skin looks soft but feels rough especially when am on my period. I don't usually do anything out of the ordinary when this happens. I just stick to my routine and my skin glows after some time.
One thing to keep in mind is never wash your face with a loafer because it can cause your skin to break out instead use a wash cloth and use it only for your face. A wash cloth is also good for exfoliation especially when you don't have exfoliating products. You can use it every other day cause daily exfoliation can dry out your skin.
8. Get yourself a camera
I believe in the beauty of capturing past moments. As humans, our biggest enemy and challenge is time. We get to live in each moment just once but capturing those moments and reliving them is something akin to euphoria. I absolutely love the idea of owning a camera myself even though I do not have one yet but I'll make sure to get one because am not really willing to go through life without capturing my favorite moments. I love to watch vlogs on YouTube because sometimes it is so relaxing to watch how people live in their favorite moments because I want to be able to live in my favorite moments as well. I want to believe that am not the only that feels this way.
Imagine growing up much older and just looking through old videos from when you were younger. I can already imagine the nostalgia. If you haven't considered owning a camera before then i guess this would be a good time to start considering it.
Summary
- Be selfish, Love yourself
- Don't waste time nurturing jealousy
- Be responsible
- Dare to dream
- Learn a skill
- Trust your gut instincts
- Good hygiene is non-negotiable
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